International marriage

Nowadays concept of international communication spreads widely in our world. Different cultures clash with each other in many spheres of our life, starting from chat in internet and ending states foreign policy. No one would wonder if some person from another country (it can be another continent for sure) passes by you on streets. Communication with people that have different nationality from you has become the norm of life. People connect with each other, know each other, become friends and even make families. We think that international marriage is kind of interest because this concept has many aspects to think about, to know different opinions. Firstly, it is a matter of its origin, of course. Secondly, matter of its actuality. And thirdly, matter of different opinions about this concept in many ways: how another people treat it, how partners of international marriages or relationships cope with cultural problems and so on.

 

 

First of all we can find a lot of examples of international marriage in our history. Any centuries ago practically all governors had foreign wifes. The most famous was Marina Mniszech also known as "Marinka the witch" - a Polish noblewoman, a Russian Tsarina(False Dmitri’s wife) and a prominent warlord during Russia's Time of Troubles. She agreed to be wife of slave in past, because Marina wanted to be a tsarina and also she was a weapon of Catolic church. (They tried to bring a Catolic religion in Russia).

Everyboby knows Sophie Friederike Auguste von Anhalt-Zerbst-Dornburg from Prussia, more famous as Russian tsarina Ekaterina the Great. She became wife of Peter III but their marriage didn’t have any perspectives because they hadn’t ever tried to respect each other not to mention love. And in the end she casted down her husband Peter III.

Also we can talk about doughter of Yaroslav the wise - Anna Yaroclavovna. She became a wife of King of France and did a lot of great things for France as a queen.

So in fact really all governors had foreign wives. Majority of foreign wives were swede and german. But there marriages exist only because politics factors as a decision of many international problems.

And we know Ekaterina’s son Konstantin, who must be next tsar of Russia, but he was in love with Polish woman and thats why his parents cut him off with a shilling and kick him out out from country. It’s a very sad story, buy it prove, that in ancient Russia people didn’t recognize international marriage, except political aims.

 

 

Also we can find examples of international relationships or marriages in literature.

The first writing that we remembered is “A hero of our time” by Mikhail Lermontov, in particular, chapter called “Bela”. The main character Andrey Pechorin goes on the Caucasus as a deportee officer. There he meets Bela, a daughter of one prince. Bela is a typical Caucasian woman, worthy daughter of her nation. She is passionate and honest with her feelings; she is ready to love from the bottom of her heart and to be obedient but nevertheless she is proud woman and prince’s daughter. Many men are captivated by her beauty and charm but she chooses Pechorin, a man of another nationality, furthermore, a man with an unusual temper. Unfortunately, story of their relationships is doomed to a tragic end.  They have too much opposite personalities, Pechorin’s inability to light feelings and his selfishness bring on troubles on poor Circassian.

Novel “Oblomov” by writer Ivan Goncharov gives us great pair Olga Ilinskaya and Andrey Shtolz. We can’t say that they love each other but their marriage is based on respect. Olga origins from noble family but she is not that king of genteel woman interested in gossips, dances and so on. She is very curious and well-educated, she always reaches out for new knowledge. Andrey Shtolz is half-russian and half-german but education of his German father became the basis of his personality. He is hard-working, prudent, really business man. He knows a lot about life because he was forced to make his life good with his own hands. Andrey and Olga were good friends; also their relationships looked like teacher and his student. Andrey is always teaching Olga, telling her new facts and stories, satisfying her curiosity before their marriage and after that.

We can see tragic end in story “Taras Bulba” by Nikolay Gogol. Andrii, son of Cossacks, is strong man with passionate heart, by the way, it is characteristic of his age and origin. Once he met wonderful and beautiful Polish girl and fall in love with her. His feelings were so strong that he betrayed his father and his national. Regardless, their countries were in war, so their relationships were forbidden. This story shows us this political side of international relationships that we have told you just now. There is no way for union if you are important figures in your country and have to do with thee politics.

Authors show us a real life in so many different ways in their writings, so we really believe in that. Honestly, their stories can be proofed by real historical facts. What’s more, every author uses prototypes of his characters and many situations, so we can say that novels, stories and even short moments are reflection of real life. The fact that writers refer to the topic of international relationships and marriage shows us that this phenomena is very close to reality and interesting for him and readers, of course. They show us another nation, their way of life and their main features of characters. More importantly, we can see that communication and even romantic relationship with a person of another culture is not so unbelievable thing, it can happen with everyone.  

 

 

 

Now in modern Russia we can observe a lot of people, who find a foreign partner. It began when the ideology of USSR was fallen and people stopped to believe in good life in their country.  And when line of demarcation between western Europe and the Russian zone of influence was broken people got an offing to travel and estimate other countries by foreign products, which appeared in Russian shops, they noticed that life abroad was much better then in their country. So when people get exit to different countries a lot of women began to find rich and (what is more important) foreign husband. That’s why marriage agencies became so much popular. The workers of there places tried to find American or European for our ladies. It’s a reason, why a lot of foreign great and famous people have Russian race.

Nevertheless, not all people had an opportunity to travel and to communicate with foreigners. In fact in the time of reconstruction our population was rather poor and there wish didn’t demand a little money. And it’s not single problem, another one: majority of people didn’t know foreign languages at all. So communication between different nationalities was impossible.

Nowadays we don’t have that problems. A big percent of our popularity know English language and it isn’t problem to communicate with potential foreign husband. But if you don’t want to study it, you may ask one of our friend, which surely know English and help you. Also we don’t know problem with communication between two foreign people, because we live in century of enternet. You can find a friend or a partner on the one of the web site of connection. That’s why nothing can stop our women or men to find foreign husband or wife. And it doesn’t amaze us when we see international marriage. It’s a norm for our days.

 

 

We have different in years statistics about international marriages in Russia and USSR.

1988 – most of international marriages was between people from federal republic of USSR. Probably it was connected with idea to create union soviet nation. So about 74% of Belarusian, 60% Moldavian,  57% of Ukrainian, 56% of Lithuanian, 40% Georgian, 40% Armenian and 40% Azerbaijani  married Russian.

Much time has passed since 1988, and situation has changed completely in modern Russia.

2008 – Russians married people from 106 countries. First of them were Turkey, Germany, USA, Great Britain and Israel. If we speak about CIS countries, the first place went to Ukraine. Total amount of international marriage in Moscow was 12000.

2010 – Situation didn’t change so much. Vietnam joined among the foreign countries. Great Britain lost their position and got 7th place.

Also statistics show, that women marry foreigner, this phenomena is less spread among Russian men.

In general, according to the statistic, every fifth Russian bride married a foreigner in last decade.

 

 

As we say at the start of our presentation, it’s interesting to find how people cope with the problems connected with different cultures, traditions and mentality. We have interviewed some people, which date with the person of another nationality or which are already married. Interview is presented in form of polling, so it’s questions and all answers after that. We have saved spelling of foreign speakers, so there can be slang.

• How have you met each other?

• We met each other in China, we studied in the same university and lived in the same dormitory for foreign students. – Julia is Russian. Her man is from Uganda.

• We met in China when I went here for summer classes. – Christina is Russian. Her man is from Uganda.

• We met each other on international web site. – Irina is Russian. Her husband Is Scotsman.

•  We met in China. –Elly is from… . His woman is from Russia.

• Are there any difficulties in relationships because of different cultures and mentalities?

• Of course, there are difficulties, but not so much. My man is from Uganda, so his culture and traditions differ from mine. I have immediately noticed the difference in attitude to women. For the first time, it was unacceptable for my man to go shopping to the grocery. It’s women’s work in his motherland country, including carrying heavy bags. To my happiness, we try to cope with our problems peacefully and make concessions. A lot of depend on personality, not only on mentality of nationality.

• Honestly, we don’t have problems because of different countries. Of course, he is from another country; he respects his traditions… for example, wearing traditional clothing for wedding, which I wouldn’t wear. But it doesn’t cause any difficulties. We live in 21st century, we don’t follow all the traditions. Cause of all quarrels is personality.

• Scottish mentality is something like Russian, so we understand each other well. But in my opinion, understanding depend on upbringing too. We accept cultural values of each other and respect them. I have a sense that we are very close to each other despite the fact that we are from different countries. We are on the same wavelength.

• Definitely. You mainly find them in expectations. What a woman of my culture expects from her bf might not be what a Russian woman, for example, would expect. Some can be very simple. Really. For example back home I can whistle any where any time() , I can walk with my shoes in the house, my relatives(which means too much contact with the in-laws) or friends can drop by without calling in advance and can even sleep over. Women HAVE to do the housework, can't disapprove with the husband's opinion in front of others, etc.  Whereas most of the things are not really ok in your culture.  So basically sex role differences as related to work outside the home, housework, parenting, and socializing are of the essence when it comes to multicultural relationships

• Is there any difference in relationships with a foreigner and with a man of your culture? Do these differences influence on your choice?

• Of course, there are differences. But they don’t influence on my choice at all. I pay attention for person’s inner world. So I can’t say that I intentionally was looking for a foreigner, no. What’s more, if my man didn’t come to me first, then I wouldn’t pay any attention for him at all.

• I think that boys in our country are impudent. They do what they want. There are much more girls, they know it so they think that can do everything. They have a lot of requirements for girl and they can complain about smth they don’t like in you and hurt you in that way. But most of them don’t even look after themselves. I know that It is not about every man in Russia, you can meet the same person in another country too. I personally don’t feel the same attitude from the foreigners. They accept us with all our defects and admire us. And that is what every girl want. So yes, that difference influence on my choice.

• There is a big difference, that’s why we choose foreigners. The majority of Russian men don’t satisfy women’s wishes. We need care, understanding and attitude like we are treasures, but Russian men don’t understand that. That’s why they behave awful. Today they have one girl. Tomorrow – second, and if you don’t like it then go away. And most of Russian men can’t make and save a happy family. European men are not like that at all. But maybe I’m lucky to find such a great man. So I wish the same man to every woman.

• The 1st answer being said, yes, there are differences. A lot of them. Getting specific would mean writing a dissertation about it. So yes, it influence on my choice

• I would never marry british woman!! I don’t like their mentality. They always want to have fun, be drunk and they don’t want family, so I was looking for Russian women. They are lovely, beautiful and can be a good wife and mother.

 

As we can see, travelling, studying and internet are really the first way to communicate with people of another country and make a family with them.

Everyone sat that there are differences in cultures and mentality, but they are not so important. In our time, when people become closer to each other and more tolerant culture and mentality is not such a big deal. Cultural boundaries disappear and the only thing that we should accept in our partner is his personality.

Most of our speakers say that this difference really important and can affect on your choice. They complain that partners from their culture don’t satisfy their expectations and requirements. Or maybe it’s due to the habit? We usually faced with people of our nationality, so now we want something new?

We find it quite remarkable that it’s easier for people to have relationships with foreigners, than with the same nationality person. Os course, according to this polling. Seemingly, that national differences should be the most important but nowadays person’s identity comes to the fore.

 

 

We made a social perquisition: «How you belong to international marriage?». In our perquisition 100 persons took part and here are results:

Placet-36

Against-18

Neutrality-46

 

Majority of people choose «neutrality» and they explain their choice. It’s important what nationality their partner has. Almost everyone wants to married European and American, and live abroad. But they don’t want to live with person, who came to Russia in quest of a job.

 

In our opinion out popularity change a lot. If we asked this question 100 years ago, we would have only negative answers. So our people became more tolerant and friendly.

 

 

 

And in the end of our presentation we want to tell you about famous international marriages.

 

1. Yoko Ono and John Lennon. Yoko was Japanese, John was Englishman. 07As mr Lennon said: on 9 November 1966 Lennon went to the Indica Gallery in London, where Ono was preparing her conceptual art exhibit, and they were introduced by gallery owner John Dunbar.[163] Lennon was intrigued by Ono's "Hammer A Nail": patrons hammered a nail into a wooden board, creating the art piece. Although the exhibition had not yet begun, Lennon wanted to hammer a nail into the clean board, but Ono stopped him. Dunbar asked her, "Don't you know who this is? He's a millionaire! He might buy it." Ono had supposedly not heard of the Beatles, but relented on condition that Lennon pay her five shillings, to which Lennon replied, "I'll give you an imaginary five shillings and hammer an imaginary nail in."

Yoko had a huge influence on John. She was older him and was like a mother for him, but he leaked it. Yoko destroyed his marriage and a lot of people claim, that Yoko was a reason of dissolution «Beatles». They were unusual pair, had a great quantity of quarrels and arguments but Lennon always said that she was the best women ever and they were really happy. They had one child - boy, named Shon.

 

2. David Bowie and Iman. She was from Samali and he lived in America. Their called the most beautiful pair in the world. As we know they had only one problem-they can’t give birth to child, but after 8 years of live in common Iman can mother their daughter Aleksanrie-Zahra. David and Iman didn’t have big scandals, which can discuss society. His marriage has already existed for 20 years and now they are happy as twenty years ago.

 

3.Heidie Klum from Germany and Seal from Africa. In early 2004 Klum began a relationship with musician Seal and he became Leni's de facto father. Seal was present for Leni's birth and Klum has stated emphatically that "Seal is Leni's father". Klum and Seal became engaged in December 2004 on a glacier in Whistler, British Columbia[60] and married on May 10, 2005 on a beach in Mexico. They have three biological children together: sons Henry Gunther Ademola Dashtu Samuel (born 2005) and Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo Samuel (born 2006),[63] and daughter Lou Sulola Samuel (born 2009). On November 21, 2009, Klum officially adopted Seal's surname and became legally known as Heidi Samuel. Soon after, in December 2009, Seal officially adopted Leni, and her last name was changed to Samuel. During their marriage, Klum and Seal renewed their vows to one another each year on their anniversary in front of family and friends.On January 22, 2012, the couple announced that they were separating after almost seven years of marriage.She filed for divorce from Seal three months later on April 6, 2012. She also requested that her name be restored to her birth name of Heidi Klum.

 

We can say, that in Russia there are a lot of international marriage, because in our country live so much nationalities. For example: a singer Alsy from Tatarstan and her husband oligarch Yan Abramoy is Jew, actress Nadya Mikhalkova- Russian and Rezo Gigeneshvily - Georgian, Timur Becmambetov(Kazakh) and Varvara Avdyshko(Russian).

 

As we can see now international marriage is very popular. We can find much more examples in our past and present. And we think that famous people have influence for population, that’s why some people want to be like «stars» and find foreign partner.

 

 

Now we want to sum everything up and make a conclusion. As we can see, international marriages have been in our life since ancient time, when Russia was ruled by kings in the middle Ages. However it was just a politic tool to solve the government problems: to make peace in war, to make an alliance or to expand influence on other countries. During the Soviet era, idea of international marriage was already forbidden, because of the ideology of the politic system. Only Perestroika in the Soviet Era gave people chances to know other countries: for the first time it was our Federal republics of USSR, then it expanded on western and Eastern countries. So we can say that issue of international marriage and its prevalence depend on time, when you live. That is determined by history.

Today international marriages become a norm of life; most of people don’t find this phenomenon so awful, scary and impossible. From year to year amount of international couple increases, and variety of countries increases too. So nationalities become closer to each other. Cultural boundaries are erased, it is not an obstacle for communication anymore. We can say that people assimilate; they can find values that are closed to them in another culture too. People become more tolerant and understandable. Moreover, increased interest to foreign languages allows people to communicate briefly without problem of language barrier. Only problem that exist between people is different characters and temperaments.