Отражение национально-этнических стереотипов в тексте анекдота (на материале английского, немецкого и русского языков)

21. [Электронный ресурс] – Режим доступа:

http://www.anekdot.ws/archives/category/russian-jokes/page/3 - Загл. с экрана.

22. [Электронный ресурс] – Режим доступа: http://www.tvforen.de/list.php?4 - Загл. с экрана.

23. [Электронный ресурс] – http://www.basicjokes.com/djoke.php?id=3612 - Загл. с экрана.

24. [Электронный ресурс] – http://russian.jokes.funnydb.net/jokes-about-russians/page/4 - Загл. с экрана.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Стереотипные  образы русских в анекдотах

Приложение  № 1

1. Karl Marx was resurrected and came to the USSR. He was shown factories, hospitals, cities and villages, etc. Finally, he requested to be allowed to make a speech on TV. The Politburo hesitated as they were afraid he might say something they wouldn't approve. Marx promised he would say only one sentence. Under this condition, the Politburo agreed. Karl Marx uttered the following sentence: "Workers of all countries, forgive me."

2. At a meeting in a factory, a lecturer from the district Party committee tells the workers about their bright future in the USSR.

"See, comrades, after this five-year plan is completed, every family will have a separate apartment. After the next five-year plan is completed, every worker will have a car! And after one more five-year plan is completed, every family will own an airplane!"

From the audience, somebody asks, "What the hell one may need an airplane for?"

"Don't you see comrades? Let's say, there are shortages in potatoes supplies in your city. No problem! You take your own plane, fly to Moscow and buy potatoes!"

3. A Polish tourist comes back home after visiting the USSR. He carries two very large and heavy suitcases. On his wrist is a new Soviet-made watch. He tells the customs man: "This is a new Soviet watch. It's a wonder unknown in the capitalist countries. You see, it shows time, the rate of your pulse beats, the phases of the Moon, the weather in Warsaw, Moscow, and New York, and more and more!"

"Yes, it's a wonder," the customs man agrees. "And what is it you have in these big suitcases?"

"Oh, it's just the batteries for that watch."

4. An old wench waited for two hours to get in a bus. Bus after bus came full and she couldn't squeeze herself in. When she finally managed to crawl in, she wiped her forehead, and said, "Finally, glory to God!"

The driver said, "Mother, you must not say that. You must say 'Glory to comrade Stalin."

"Excuse me, comrade," the woman said. "I'm just a backward old woman. I'll say from now on as you told me."

After a while, she said, "Excuse me, comrade, I am old and stupid. What shall I say if, God forbid, Stalin dies?"

"Oh, mother, then you shall say, "'Glory to God!"

5. At a May Day parade, a very old Jew carries a slogan, "Thank you, comrade Stalin, for my happy childhood!"

The Party representative approaches the old man. "What's that? Are you deriding our Party? Everybody can see, when you were a child, comrade Stalin was not yet born!"

"That's precisely what I'm grateful to him for!" the Jew said.

6. Two brothers, John, and Bob, who lived in America and were members of the communist party, decided to emigrate to the USSR. Even though they didn't believe the American media's negative reports on the conditions in the USSR, they decided to exercise caution. First, only John would go to Russia to test the waters. If, contrary to the media reports, the living conditions would be found good, and the reports about persecutions by the KGB false, than John would write a letter to Bob using black ink whose color would signify that the letter is to be taken at face value. If, though, the situation in the USSR happened to be bad, and John would be afraid of writing the truth, he would use red ink thus indicating that whatever he says in the letter must not be believed.

In three months John sent his first report. It was in black ink and read, "Dear brother Bob! I'm so happy here! It's a beautiful country, I enjoy complete freedom, and high standard of living. All the capitalist press wrote was lies. Everything is readily available! There is only one small thing of which there's shortage, namely red ink."

7. An inspecting commission came to a lunatics asylum. To greet them, a choir of the patients sang a song from a popular movie that says "Oh, how good it is to live in the Soviet land!"

The commission noticed that one of the men did not sing.

"Why are you not singing?"

"I'm not crazy, I'm a nurse here."

8. A delegation of foreign communists came to see a Moscow kindergarten. Before they came, the kids were instructed to answer every question by the visitors with just one sentence, "In the USSR everything is the best in the world."

The visitors came and asked their questions:

"Children, do you like your kindergarten?"

"In the USSR everything is the best in the world!" the kids shouted.

"And what about the food you get?"

"In the USSR everything is the best in the world!"

"Do you like your toys?"

"In the USSR everything is the best in the world!"

At that, the smallest boy in the group started crying.

"Misha, why are you crying? What happened?"

"I want to go to the USSR!"

9. The year is 2010. In Moscow, a boy asks, "Grandpa, what is a line?"

"You see, some twenty years back, there was not enough meat in stores, so people had to form long queues at the stores' entrances and wait hoping some meat would appear on sale. That was called line. Did you get it?"

"Yes, Grandpa. And what is meat?"

10. On the occasion of the anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution, a meeting of Party members is held in a village. The Chairman of the local Soviet gives a speech,

"Dear comrades! Let's look at the amazing achievements of our Party after the revolution. For example, here sits Maria. Who was she before? An illiterate peasant woman, she had but one dress and no shoes. And now? She is an exemplary milkmaid known over the entire region. Or look at Ivan Andreev. He was the poorest man in this village, had no horse, no cow, and even no axe. And now? He is a tractor driver, and has two pairs of shoes! Or look at Trofim Semenovich Alekseev. He was a nasty hooligan, a lowest drunkard, a dirty gadabout. Nobody trusted him even with a snowdrift in wintertime, as he would steal anything his gaze fell upon. And now he's a Secretary of the Party Committee!"

11. Seven paradoxes of the socialist state:

Nobody works, but the plan is always fulfilled. The plan is fulfilled, but the shelves in the stores are empty. The shelves are empty, but nobody starves; nobody starves, but everybody is unhappy; everybody is unhappy, but nobody complains; nobody complains, but the jails are full.

12. A man walked into the district committee of the Communist Party and said, "I wish to join the Party. Where should I start?"

"Visit a Psychiatrist."

13. In a school, a survey was a conducted among the students. One of the questions was "Would you suggest a classification of Soviet citizens in accordance with any criterion you may choose?"

The son of a KGB officer answered: 'There are three categories of Soviet people, namely, 1) those who have already been to prison; 2) those who are now in prison, and 3) those who will be in prison."

14. An university Professor of Folklore asked his students, "Do you believe that with time anecdotes are being reevaluated?"

"Yes. They used to give for an anecdote fifteen years, and now they give only three."

15. A competition for the best anecdote has been announced. First prize: twenty five years; second prize: twenty years, and two condolence prizes: fifteen years each.

16. A man parked his car in the Red Square in Moscow. A policeman rushed to him, shouting, "Are you crazy? Here is where the government is!"

"No problem," the man answered, "I've good locks in my car."

17. What's meant by an exchange opinions in the Communist party of the Soviet Union? 
It's when I come to a party meeting with my own opinion, and I leave with the party's.

18. When Stalin was in office, he once noted that there were mice in his study and complained to President Kalinin about this. The President thought for a moment and suggested, "Why don't you put up a sign reading 'Collective Farm'? Half the mice will die of hunger and the other half will run away."

19. If Russian decided to do nothing, nothing can stop him.

20. Scientists have discovered Soviet Lunokhod-2 on the moon. In the moon-buggy the wheels were twisted off and the cassette rack was pulled out.

21. - Why Russians take Americans to space flights? 
- It is necessary that at the time of landing at least someone would be sober.

22. Firmly tipsy husband returns home after midnight, and whispers to the angry wife: 
- Hush! Darling! I’ve found something. Will tell you in the morning. 
In the morning his wife impatiently asked: 
- So what did you find? 
- Just imagine! The new pub!

23. If engine oil stopped trickle from your russian car it rather depleted.

24. At the initiative of Russian parents in children’s economic game «Monopoly» added bribe.

 

 

Приложение №2

1. Für immer mehr Russen wird der Alkohol zur tödlichen Falle. Ein Betroffener berichtet: "Meine Bruder Igor - chat er schlimmes Ende genommen! Chat Wodka nix mehr gewirkt! Chat er geschluckt Wundbenzin. Chat nix mehr gewirkt Wundbenzin. Chat er geschluckt Motorradbenzin. Chat nix mehr gewirkt Motorradbenzin. Chat er geschluckt Benzin von Auto. Chat nix mehr gewirkt Benzin von Auto. Chat er gefahren immer zu Flughafen! Chat nix mehr gewirkt Flughafen. In die Ende chat er iberhört Countdown von die Weltraumrakete...

2. Welcher Nationalität waren Adam und Eva? Natürlich waren sie Russen: Sie hatten nichts anzuziehen. Sie hatten kein Haus. Und sie glaubten sich im Paradies.

3. Boris Jelzin überlebt einen Flugzeugabsturz nur knapp und liegt 3 Jahre im Koma.  
Als er aufwacht, fragt er einen seiner Berater:  
"Wie ist denn die Wirtschaftslage?"  
Antwort: "Gut, jedes Jahr 2% Wachstum!"  
"Wieviel Arbeitslose haben wir?"  
"Quote unter 1,5%!"  
Jelzin staunt und fragt: Was kostet dann ein Wodka"  
Antwort: "2 Euro..."

4. Der russische Zollbeamte steckt seinen Kopf ins offene Fenster des Autos und fragt den deutschen Touristen:  
"Alkohol, Zigaretten?"  
"Nein, zweimal Kaffee bitte!

5. Die Russen haben einen geländegängigen Superkraftwagen erfunden.  
Eine Gruppe von Experten aus Deutschland wurde eingeladen, um die Neuheit zu bewundern.  
Das taten sie denn auch.  
Nach einer ganzen Weile sagte einer aus der Gruppe zu einem anderen:  
"Was die Russen sich alles ausdenken - anstatt lieber die Straßen zu verbessern!"

6. Ein Russe, Engländer, Franzose und Deutscher erlitten Schiffbruch und gerieten auf eine unbewohnte Insel. Nach einigen Monaten fanden die Männer plötzlich eine Flasche am Meeresufer. Sie zogen den Korken heraus. Plötzlich stieg ein Geist aus der Flasche auf und sagte: "Ich erfülle jedem von euch zwei Wünsche."  
Der Engländer:  
"Einen Sack voller Geld und nichts wie nach Hause".  
Der Franzose:  
"Eine hübsche Frau und nichts wie nach Hause."  
Der Deutsche:  
"Einen Mercedes und nichts wie nach Hause."  
Als letzter war der Russe an der Reihe.  
Er überlegte ein paar Minuten und sagte dann:  
"Es war doch eine schöne Gesellschaft. Eine Kiste Wodka und die drei zurück!"

7. Ein Telefongespräch in Russland:  
"Entschuldige mich bitte, Mischa, aber jetzt habe ich Mittagspause.  
Ruf mich später an, nach der Pause können wir uns länger unterhalten."

8. Ein amerikanischer Millionär ist in Moskau in einem Luxus-Hotel abgestiegen.  
Er fühlt sich beleidigt, weil ihm nicht genügend Achtung erwiesen worden ist und sagt dem Kellner herausfordernd:  
"Bring mir mal eine Speise für 1000 Dollar."  
"Es tut mir leid, aber halbe Portionen gibt es bei uns nicht."

9. Moskau: Beim Metzger fragt eine alte Frau nach Fleisch.  
"Bedaure, haben wir nicht."  
"Auch kein Huhn?"  
"Nein."  
"Etwas Lamm vielleicht?"  
"Nein, auch nicht."  
"Wie ist es mit Schwein?"  
"Tut mir leid, das auch nicht."  
"Oder Rind?"  
Darauf murmelt der Metzger:  
"Toll, was Sie für ein Gedächtnis haben..."

10. Werbung für Urlaub in Rußland: Kommen Sie zu uns, bevor wir zu Ihnen kommen...

 

Стереотипные образы немцев в анекдотах

Приложение №3

1. Русский и американец  в совместной экспедиции на  Марс... 
Во время прогулки русский говорит: 
- немцы нас опередили - они уже тут! 
Американец: 
- Почему?! 
- Да ты посмотри на вывеску: "Департамент по марсианским делам. Возьмите формуляр, заполните и встаньте в очередь"!

2. - Мы ведем  наш репортаж с матча "Польша-Германия". Идет всего лишь пятая минута  матча - а немцы уже ведут  пленных!

3. Аэропорт  Франкфурта, Германия. На посадку  заходит лайнер

компании  Бритиш Эруэйз. Ввиду плохой видимости пилот промахивается и просит диспетчера навести его самолет еще раз. 
Диспетчер (раздраженно): Вы, что, никогда не были во Франкфурте (имея в виду аэропорт)? 
Пилот: Был в 1944. Но я тогда не садился.

4. Наше время. 

Германия отправляет в Китай  официальное письмо: "Объявляем  войну. У нас 5 танков и 221 солдат". 
Китай направляет в Германию ответ: "Согласны. У нас 18 000 танков и 5 000 000 солдат" 
Германия: "Просим считать наше объявление войны недействительным, так как не имеем в наличии достаточное количество места для размещения военнопленных".

5. Мир сошел с ума:  лучший рэппер - белый, лучший игрок в гольф - черный, Франция обвиняет Америку в высокомерии, а Германия не хочет воевать.

6. Экзамен по немецкому языку.  Учитель студенту: 
- Скажите "лягушка прыгает по болоту" 
- Айн момент.... дэр лягушка по дэр болоту дэр шлеп, дэр шлеп, дэр шлеп.

7. Одного немца выкинули с  работы. Он получил пособие, а  другой работы найти не может.  Просит материальной помощи у  друзей, но те отказывают. Через  месяц чувак покупает шикарный автомобиль, шикарный дом и еще дачу на Мальорке. Друзья, офигев, спрашивают: 
- Ганс, откуда у тебя столько денег? 
- Нет ничего проще, я подал объявление в газету, примерно такого содержания: "Я бедный марокканец, хочу возвратиться на родину, но не имею денег на дорогу..."

8. В немецкой школе троим первоклассникам  грозит оставление на второй  год. 
Учитель решил их проэкзаменовать. 
- Макс, скажи по буквам слово "папа". 
Макс: - П-а-п-а. 
- Анита, скажи по буквам слово "мама" 
Анита: - М-а-м-а. 
Учитель: - Прекрасно. Ахмед, а теперь ты скажи по буквам "расовая дискриминация".

9. По Германии едет автобус  с туристами из Израиля. Водитель - 
немец. Мчит по автобану. Проезжают мимо указателя "Бухенвальд". Евреи 
обращаются к водителю: 
- Любезный это место практически свято для 
еврейского народа. не можем ли мы на минуту отклониться от нашего 
маршрута и посетить этот памятник истории. 
Водитель пытается 
отказать (маршрут, расписание...) Уговорили. Свернули,едут. Водитель, 
естественно нервничает. Автобус ломается где-то у глухого 
хутора.Разъяренный водитель направляется к ближайшему дому, чтобы 
вызвать помощь. Видит - на крыльце сидит толстый, рыжий бюргер и ест 
сосиски с пивом. Водитель обращается к нему: - Слушай, я тут.... 
евреев,.... будь они неладны, в Бухенвальд везу....автобус сломался... 
доехать не можем.... ты не мог бы мне помочь. Бюргер смотрит на него и 
отвечает: 
- Извини, земляк... , у меня только микроволновка

10. В Германии проводят опрос населения. 
Спрашивают русского: 
- Какая страна вам нравится? 
- Германия. 
- Какой язык учите? 
- Немецкий. 
- Почему? 
- Хочу здесь остаться. 
Спрашивают немца: 
- Какая страна вам нравится? 
- Германия. 
- Какой язык учите? 
- Русский. 
- Почему???? 
- Хочу здесь остаться.

11. Русский, почти не  говорящий на немецком, въехал в шикарный мерс. Ну оба водилы вылезли, русский чешет репу, немец что то причитает. Собираются зеваки. И тут русский показывая на мерс, громко спрашивает у немца по русски «Ваша машина?» 
- Waschmaschine? Sie beleidigen mich noch?

12. Встретились два братана. 
- Я в Германии был, 10 тысяч марок за неделю заработал. 
- Ну ты, брат, припух. Да ты же за всю жизнь столько писем не напишешь.

 

Приложение №4

1. - Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France? 

- Germans like to march in the shade.

2. - What is the difference between the Dresden bombing and Germany's best comedian?

- Only the first one can make you smile.

3. - How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?

     - They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

4. After much discussion as to where the capital of the new Germany should be -- Bonn or Berlin -- a compromise was struck: Paris.

5. The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.

6. I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.

"Nine," I heard one whisper as I passed. Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.

"I don't want to ruin it for you," he said, "but when I walked in, they were speaking German."

7. Do you know why Germans build such high-quality products?

So they won't have to go around being nice while they fix them.

8. - What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?

- Beaner-Schnitzel

9. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Gestapo

Gestapo who?

Ve Vill ask ze Questions!

10. A German farmer with relatives in the US promised them some fresh pork sausages made by hand from his very own stock of pigs.