Шпаргалка по "Английскому языку"

On the Subject of Elbows on the Table

         Elbows are never put on the table while one is eating.

Other Table Don’ts

        Don’t encircle a plate with the left arm while eating with the right hand.

        Don’t push back your plate when finished. It remains exactly where it is until whoever is waiting on you removes it.

        Don’t lean back and announce, “I’m through”. The fact that you have put your fork or spoon down shows that you have finished.

        Don’t ever put liquid into your mouth if it is already filled with food. You might have a little bread in your mouth when you drink coffee, it it be so little as to be undetectable to others. But a good habit is never.

        Don’t wait until all plates are served; after a few guests have been served, it is perfectly all right to start eating.

The Use of a Pusher

       There is no better pusher than a piece of dry crust. Lacking this, the knife is also correct if properly used. Held in the left hand in the same position as it is when held in the right, with the tip of the blade helping to guide and hold each mouthful for the fork to lift, it is a natural motion in no way incorrect.

Bones, Pits and Seeds

        Fish bones or other incidental bones are taken between finger and thumb, and removed between compressed lips. Pits and seeds must be eaten quite bare and clean in the mouth and dropped into the cupped fist and then into the plate. The pits of stewed prunes or cherries that are eaten with a spoon are made as clean and dry as possible in the mouth with the tongue and teeth, and then dropped into the spoon with which you are eating, and conveyed to the edge of the plate. Even so, people with best manners usually drop the pits even of stewed prunes or cherries into the cupped hand, held close to the lips.

Removing Bones from Fish

         Lift the end of the bone with a fork, and then lift it all the way out pinched between the knife and fork together, or with fingers. Do not let the fingers touch the fish.

Salt

        If there is no spoon in the saltcellar, use the tip of a clean knife. If saltcellar be for you alone, use your knife.

The Foods that are Sometimes Difficult

       

Asparagus

        By reputation this is a finger food, but the ungraceful sight of seeing a bent stalk of asparagus falling limply into someone’s mouth, and the fact that moisture is also likely to drip from the end, have been the reasons why most fastidious people invariably eat it – at least in part – with the fork. That is, cut the stalks with the fork to where they become harder, and then pick up the ends in the fingers if you choose. But don’t squeeze the stalks, or hold your hand beneath the end and let juice run down your arm.

        Hothouse asparagus, or any other that that has no hard end,

is eaten entirely with a fork. All hard ends should be cut off asparagus before serving it at a dinner party, since picking up stalks in the fingers is scarcely compatible with formal table manners.

Birds

        Birds are not eaten with the fingers. You cut off as much meat as you can and leave the rest on your plate.

Bouillon

        Drink any thin soup that is served in a cup or sip it from a spoon as you prefer (sipping must, of course, be silent). Usually you sip a few spoonfuls and then, when it is cool enough, drink from the cup, holding both handles or one as you choose. Remember not to hold your fingers curled in exaggerated cockcombs. Imagine the double-curl effect!

Bread and Butter

        Bread should always be broken into moderate-sized pieces with the fingers before being eaten. If it is to be buttered,  a piece is held on the edge of the bread and butter plate, or the place plate, and enough butter spread on it for a mouthful or two at a time, with a butter knife. If there isn’t a butter knife, use any other knife you find available. Jellies and jams as well as butter are spread on bread with a knife, never with a fork, though you do not put butter on vegetables and jelly on meat with a fork.

Butter

        Every sort of bread, biscuit, toast, and also hot griddle cakes and corn on the cob are buttered with a knife. But corn that has been cut off the cob, or rice, or potato – or anything else on your plate – has seasoning or butter mixed in it with a fork.

Canapes

        Canapes served before a meal are eaten with the fingers with cocktails in the living-room. At table they are eaten, as other hors-d’oeuvre, with a fork.

Cheese

        Cheese is one thing may be spread with either a knife or a fork. If eaten with a salad, with which one is using no knife, one may break off a piece of cheese and put it on lettuce or a cracker with one’s fork. Runny or soft cheeses should always be spread with a salad knife. A hostess should remember that ever since the coming of stainless steel, salad knives are a modern must of table-setting.

Condiments

        The thought of smearing condiments with a knife on food already impaled on a fork is quite unpleasant if more than a small amount is taken. The proper way to manage a quantity of cranberry sauce, dressing, jelly, pickle, etc. is to lift it onto the fork and either eat it as a separate mouthful or impale with it a very small piece of meat on the tips of the tines.

Croustards with Soup

        Croustards, which are very small forcemeat pastries, are scattered on the soup after it has been ladled into the plate to be served. Croutons (tiny French-fried cubes of bread are either put on the soup or else passed separately in a dish with a small serving spoon and each person puts a spoonful in his soup.

Lobster, Broiled

        This is called a finger food because otherwise the meat in the claws cannot be eaten, unless the claws have been not only cracked but literally broken in half. Properly, a big paper napkin and a fingerbowl  with hot, slightly soaped water should be put at the side of each place at a table as soon as people are served, and carried away, of course, as soon as the plates are removed.

Olives

        Bite off, but don’t nibble around the stone! Bite a stuffed one in half. Put only a very small stuffed olive in your mouth whole.

Sandwiches

        All ordinary sandwiches not only at picnics but everywhere are eaten from the fingers. Club sandwiches and other inch-thick and wholemeal sandwiches are best cut in smaller portions before being picked up and held tightly in the fingers of both hands, or if literally dripping with mayonnaise they should be served on a plate with a knife and fork. If you are not sitting at table and you have no knife, you bite into an overlarge and hugely thick piece as nicely as you can or attack it with as little ferocity as possible.

Eating Fruit at Table

        The equipment for eating fruit at table is a sharp-bladed fruit knife and fork, a fingerbowl, and a napkin that fruit juice will not permanently stain. If in a restaurant and no knife is given you, it is proper to ask for one.

Peaches

        A freestone peach or nectarine is broken in half and eaten. A clingstone you can’t break apart; therefore only if you don’t mind the  fuzz, as most of us do, you eat it whole. If you do this you take very small bites to prevent the juice from running down your wrist. Usually you peel the peach whole and then eat it with knife and fork.

Cantaloupes and Melons

        The cantaloupes and muskmelons are served in halves and eaten with a spoon.

        A honeydew melon is cut into new-moon-shaped quarters or eights, depending on size, and eaten with either spoon or folk – whichever you prefer.

        Watermelon is cut into large-size pieces or slices and usually eaten with a knife and fork. Or, if with fork alone, remove seeds with tines and then cut piece with side of fork.

Berries

        Strawberries as well as all other berries are hulled or stemmed ahead of time, served with cream and sugar, and eaten with a spoon. When especially fine and so freshly picked that they are still warm from the garden’s sun, they are often served with their hulls on and sugar placed at one side of each person’s plate. The hull of each berry is held in the fingers and the fruit is dipped in the sugar and so eaten.

Oranges

        An enjoyable way to eat oranges is to slice the two ends of the rind off first, then standing it on one end and holding it on the plate with fingers of left hand, cut the peel off in vertical strips with the knife. You then cut the peeled orange in half at its equator. After this, each half is easily cut and eaten mouthful by mouthful with knife and fork together. They can also be halved, the sections loosened with a curved grapefruit knife, and then eaten with an orange spoon or teaspoon.

        A thin-skinned orange, filled with seeds, is extremely difficult to eat. About the only way is to cut it into eighths, take out the seeds from the center with the tip of the knife, and eat the new-moon-shaped pieces as daintily as you can in the fingers.

        Tangerines seemingly present no problem because the skin is removed easily and the segments separate readily. But the pulp, seeds and fibers must be taken neatly from between the lips with the thumb and first two fingers (fingers above and thumb underneath).

Apples and Pears

        Apples and pears are quartered usually with a knife. The core then is cut away from each quarter and the fruit is eaten in the fingers. Those who do not like the skin pare each quarter separately.

Bananas

        Although it is not bad manners to peel the skin half-way down and eat the fruit bite by bite at table, it is better to peel the skin all the way off, lay the fruit on your plate, cut it in slices, and eat with a fork.

Garden Grapes

        Press the stem end of a grape between your lips and against your almost closed teeth and the juice and pulp will be drawn into your mouth and the seeds be left in the skin. Little seedless grapes are no problem since they are eaten whole.

Cherries and Plums

        Cherries and plums are eaten in the fingers of course. The pit of the cherry should be made as dry as possible in your mouth and dropped into your almost-closed cupped hand and thence to your plate. The plum is held in your fingers and eaten as close to the pit as possible. On occasion when you do remove a pit in your fingers, be sure that you do it with your thumb underneath and your first two fingers across your mouth, and not with your fingertips pointing into your mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

О застольном невежестве

 

Невеж застольных много есть,-

Избавь нас, боже, рядом сесть!

Им должен я мораль прочесть.

 

                         *

Порок и глупость изучая

И в эту книгу их включая,

Хочу еще кое-каких

Представить нам глупцов других –

Из тех, о коих разговор

Придерживал я до сих пор.

Любой из них,- будь дубом дуб,

И невоспитан будь и груб,-

По простоте и слепоте

Безнравствен менее, чем те,

Которые со зла вредили

И на корабль мой угодили.

Да, этот люд не то чтоб очень,

Чтоб уж безбожно был порочен,

А просто - груб и неотесан

И за столом совсем несносен.

«Невежедурни» - так зовут их,

Мужланов этих пресловутых,

Кому поныне пред обедом

Обычай руки мыть неведом

И кто спешит к столу, спроста

Садясь не на свои места,

Так что приходится сказать:

«А ну, приятель, пересядь

Подальше-ка, туда, в конец!»

Тот, разумеется, глупец,

Кто тянется к вину и хлебу,

Не прошептав молитвы небу,

И кто из блюда первый – хвать

И – в рот, и чавкая,- жевать,

Хотя сидит немало там

Господ значительных и дам,

В чьем обществе такой народ 

Не должен вылезать вперед.

И тот ведет себя прескверно,

Кто дует столь немилосердно

На кашу, будто он губами

Решил тушить пожара пламя.

Неряхи оставляют пятна

На скатерти; кой-кто обратно

На блюдо общее положит

То, чего сам уплесть не может,

И отбивант аппетит

Застольникам – иных мутит!

Бывает и наоборот:

Едок-лентяй – покуда в рот

Доставит ложку он, зевая

И зев захлопнуть забывая,

Все, что держал зевака в ложке,

Опять в тарелке, в миске, плошке.

 

И привередливые есть:

Что ни подай, не станут есть,

Сначала не обнюхав снеди,

Коробя этим всех соседей.

Бывает, что обжора рот

Едой набьет невпроворот –

Жует, жует, сопя и тужась,

И жвачку изо рта (вот ужас!)

Начнет выплевывать, осел,

В тарелку, на пол иль на стол!

Увидишь – и с души воротит.

Кой-кто еще и не проглотит

Куска, а с полным ртом хлебнет  –

И щеки полоскать начнет,

Так надувая их, как будто

Он весь распух в одну минуту.

И вдруг вино, что в рот влилось,

Фонтаном хлещет через нос –

И все боятся, что мужлан

В лицо плеснет вам иль в стакан.

Рот вытирать не любят,- сала

С полпальца на стекле бокала.

Пьют, громко чмокая, с особым,

Преотвратительным прихлебом.

Питье вина бывало как-то

Почти что ритуальным актом.

Теперь на ритуал плюют –

Пьют торопливо, грубо пьют.

Поднимут высоко сосуд,

Глоток побольше отсосут,

Во здравие друг дружке крякнут

И вновь – чок-чок – посудой  звякнут,

И другу честь не воздана,

Коль ты не выпил все до дна.

Но как мой друг ни будь мне люб,

По мне обычай этот глуп:

Что мне в твоем пустом стакане?

Я пить люблю без понуканий:

Пью для себя и в меру я.

А кто без меры пьет – свинья!

 

Глуп тот, кто разговор застольный

Один ведет самодовольный,

А все должны – будь ему пусто!-

Молчать и слушать златоуста,

Что обличает только тех,

Кого как раз и нет, на грех.

А вот еще закон приличья:

За шестиногой серой дичью,

Что расплодилась в волосах,

Нельзя за трапезой в гостях

Охотиться и то и дело

Казнить ее в тарелке белой,

Купая ноготь свой в подливе,

Чтоб стала вкусом прихотливей,

Потом сморкаться, после сморка

Нос вытирая о скатерку.

 

Воспитанными я б не счел

И тех, которые, на стол

Поставив локти, стол качают,

Что неудобством не считают.

А то еще, избави боже,

На стол положат ноги тоже,

Как та злосчастная невеста,

Что на пол шлепнулась не к месту,

Такой издав при этом звук,

Что онемели все вокруг.

Будь непристойный звук хоть слаб,

Отрыжка выручить могла б,

Но все узнали звук тот грубый.

Какой позор! К тому же зубы

Все выбила дуреха та,

И кровь – ручьями изо рта!..

 

Еще повадка есть другая:

Соседу яство предлагая,

Стараются подать ему,

Что не по вкусу самому:

Сомненьями себя не мучай –

Захватывай кусок получше!

Забавно наблюдать, как блюдо

При этом вертится, покуда

Подцепит опытный едок

Поаппетитнее кусок.

 

Чтоб рассказать о всем о том,

Что дурно делать за столом,

А делать кое-кто привык,

Мне двух таких не хватит книг.

К примеру: оторвать иного

Нельзя от кубка кругового;

Тот лезет пальцами в солонку,

Что при воспитанности тонкой

Не принято. Но я скажу,

Что чистые персты ножу

Предпочитаю, если он

Из грязных ножен извлечен.

И час назад или немножко

Пораньше обдирал он кошку.

Стучать по скорлупе яичной

Чрезмерно громко – неприлично,

Как многое, чего, признаться,

Не собираюсь тут касаться,

Поскольку это только тени

На благородном поведенье.